Dear Google, where did my unique visitors go?

As if the world of website metrics wasn't confusing enough, Google just went ahead and made a little more confusing.
I was visiting my Google Analytics account for this website and became a little confused. The metric "sessions" kept displaying and I couldn't find my unique visitors. I though maybe I had selected the wrong metric to display, but after some digging I realized it wasn't just me. I did what everyone does now when they have a questions -- I Googled it. I found this post on Search Engine Roundtable noting that Google has made the following changes in its terminology:
Visits = Sessions
Unique Visitors = Users
Yeah. Kind of confusing, huh? You know all those reports you've been keeping for all these years? Yeah, they have to be updated. And you're going to spend extra time searching around to make sure you're getting apples to apples data. And you're probably going to have to write down the above equation on a Post-It and place it on your computer monitor so you don't forget. At least, that's what I'm going to do. So, here's my Post-It. Fee free to print it out: